i hate good quotes.

i read this on my friends facebook a few minutes ago:

“Marriages fail because of how right it feels to justify sinful responses to sin”

well.
hell.

i’m in a state of total confusion these days with the impending death of my own crapped-out marriage.  do i run away? do i put up with it forever? do i just sit around and just…hope ::crosses fingers:: that everything will turn out the way i originally thought that it would? or do i take charge of my life – my hapiness – and do something about it.

so many really strong arguments sway me in both directions constantly.  knocking me this way and that.  and at the end of the day, after i have resolved to stay together. to get a divorce. to try to work it out. to run like hell. to close my eyes and just sit here for 30 years and when i open them, maybe it will all go away for me so i won’t have to think.  and then back again to leaving. yes. leaving. no. staying…

i.just.don’t.know.

i’m in no state to make an obligatory “pro con” list. the bad would FAR exceed the good at this point. i don’t see any good. which is why i can easily justify treating his sin with a sinful dose of d.i.v.o.r.c.e. i have no hope.

i mean. really.  how can i possibly imagine a scenario when i will say “okay. i want to move all of my things back into one little tiny section of the closet instead of just spreading it all out really pretty.  please. come home.”

i just. wow. yeah. no. i like living alone again right now. i won’t lie.  it’s so nice. can’t we just…stay married and seperated forever? oh wait. i just got another phone call about wanting to go on a date by some other fella.

hmmmmm.

i have one opportunity knocking on my front door, while another one is rapping on my window. which one is right? well. that’s to be determined. which one do i want? oh i want the naughty one. i want the one at the window. sneaking into my house in the middle of the night (this is a metaphor. don’t worry). that’s fun.

 but then there is that ever-present gloom of “GOD WILL BE MAD KRISTA!!!!!!! RAWWWWR!!!!” that i just…i don’t want to contend with. lol. so. which is it? do you stay in a marriage to glorify God and be absolutely miserable forever? how does that actually do anything for the glory of God? or do you run in the other direction never looking back and life a fullfilled happy life?

help me justify this.

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